In the Name of Love (1)
A couple of days ago, a best friend of mine told me that she is about to start a new serious relationship with someone after ending her almost a year serious-yet-toxic relationship. She has known this ‘new’ guy since elementary school and they started to get in touch again on Eid last month. He asked for her permission to meet her parents and she said yes. I am genuinely happy for her and always wish for her happiness.
Ending a toxic relationship might seem easy for some but not for all. Some say it is difficult to find the exit door because they are already getting too attached and invest their emotional well-being to their partner.
Since there is a various definition of a ‘toxic relationship’, I prefer the short definition of a relationship where you get physically and/or mentally abused by your partner. Instead of going deeper into discussing this issue, I am more interested in giving my thoughts on the core/cause of someone who might become toxic to the other person. And my shots are: he/she is still figuring out what they really want in life, has not yet finished finding tranquility for themselves, and another reasonable reason is they had traumatic experiences in their past relationship that allow them to do it to their new partner. Nobody wants to get hurt by somebody but sometimes this reason which sadly, justifies their action to hurt someone (consciously and unconsciously).
I am not a pro in giving pieces of advice related to relationship (and you might define ‘relationship’ whatever you want if in your case is you are about to get married, only committed but still not going far enough for marriage, or even only doing intense communication for such a quite long period of time) but I think it is important to tell you this: love yourself first before you decide to love another human. Finish your chapters peacefully before writing another chapter. Letting someone dive into your unfinished world is unacceptable.
“I hope you forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made, for the past you keep alive inside of you. I hope you learn to let go of the things you had to do in order to heal, or to grow, or to survive. You are doing your best. You are human. Please don’t ever forget that.” — rainbowsalt
And for you whoever reads this, I always wish for your happiness and all the good things in your life. Love will find its way but only if you are a hundred percent sure about yourself and what is going on in your life.
